Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
