You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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