I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
