WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
