you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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