Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
