Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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