a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This baby is an asshole
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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