My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
