He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
