Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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