She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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