I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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