hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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