how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
