Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
