Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
