my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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