you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
