i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
