never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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