I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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