Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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