that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I want to make a zoo with you.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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