my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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