I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I currently don't understand fingers.
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