I puked a lego.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
