Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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