You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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