Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
