All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
