Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize