Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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