We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You're like the curious george of whores
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
