Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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