super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i came on her dog
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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