If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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