i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
