about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
