I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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