I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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