So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
