You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
