hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I FOUND THE LEGS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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