i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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