So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
