Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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