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• (361): View more from Texas

  One girl and one boy is just not enough.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!

  (360): View more from Washington

  let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Hahahah pickled

  (207): View more from Maine

  I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i apologize, I may have called you an iguana

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Mistakes were made

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