I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
