Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
