wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
