I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
