I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
