He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
