she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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