I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
