I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize