i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize