Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
