So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
