so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
