I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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