im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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