So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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