If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
