I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dear god my vagina.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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