hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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