Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
