bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You are the jesus of drinking
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
