i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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