what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
